Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Killer culprit taken down at Amity


Amity, Mass. – Despite a string of fatalities off the coast of Amity beach last week, the shore was packed this Fourth of July with beach-goers eager to dive into the waves.

“I am delighted to report that the giant killer shark that has been blamed for two deaths this week was caught, “said Amity Chief of Police Martin P. Brody.”It was killed in waters one mile south-southwest of Amity."

The shark was caught be a group of anonymous local fishermen patrolling the area as a precautionary measure after the two reported deaths. They will be receiving a $3,000 reward for killing the 16-foot nurse shark, identified by Matt Hooper of the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute.

According to Chief Brody, the beaches will reopen immediately, though armed shark spotters will continue to patrol the waters. He urges any future shark sightings to be reported to the local Amity police or Coast Guard.

However, Brody remains confident of the safety of Amity beaches this weekend. “While police urge vigilance, we believe that the danger of further shark attacks has passed.”

And the locals are taking Brody’s word, as Amity Beaches were packed with children and adults alike splashing into the waves. Even with the ominous racket of helicopters overhead, children were spotted swimming feet from the shallows.

“I’m pleased to announce we have caught the large predator that hurt some bathers,” said Mayor Bob Farley, “After all, Amity means friendship."

With the spirit of Amity intact, all seemed well for the beachgoers. That was until a major scare occurred, in which the patrolmen fired at a ‘shark’, which was in actuality two young men performing a hoax.

The beach was immediately evacuated by lifeguards and patrolmen, but nerves remained high on Amity. The scare, who nearly resulted in the accidental shooting of the young men, evacuated the bustling beachfront.

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